I just woke up and I am praying for it to be a better day. I tell myself not to expect much and hope that I will be able to learn how to survive with three people against me, because I'm sure that the other girls would take her side since they're closer together than with me. I'm always an outsider here and while it is exhausting on a mental level, as long as I focus on my work, I should be fine. I need to be stronger and not let these interpersonal things bother me. This is what I have been training myself to be all my life: to be independent from my friends so that if I ever needed help, I can still help myself and not require someone there for me, but of course, it's always nice to receive help, but if the help isn't even reliable to begin with, why ask, why even think about being dependent on my "friends" for even a moment?
Anyway, I plan on doing that return really well today and I plan on having a good day so I'm not going to let my feelings from last night get in the way of it. I am an adult and I plan on making through my day as smoothly as possible. *sigh* Ok, I can do this.
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