Children

I don't know why, but recently whenever I see kids, I feel like I want one. Even though I know all the implications that come with having a child, I can't help but really want one as of late. Like that feeling of being needed by someone smaller and more fragile than you, who loves you (and later hates you of course lol), but I really want a kid. Not sure why though.

I'm sure in a couple days, this spell cast over me will be lifted and I'm going to go back being my usual child-hating self lol. Kids are obnoxious and noisy. They cost a lot of money, suck up a lot of your time and energy, needs a ton of attention and if you don't raise them right, they can end up totally ruining society. They're a lot of responsibility and even though you love each other, there will come a time when you'll want to keep them under control at all times even though they want to break free and mature as quickly as they can, and thus the normal dissonance suffered between parent & child, and years upon years of struggle, disappointment, and angry feelings. If you try to push all your expectations on them, it may lift or crush them. If you don't have any expectations of them, they might stray off towards the wrong path. You might want them to do the things they love, but in the end, you may end up being just as controlling as your parents were and try to get them to pursue conservative yet secure careers and not attempt anything else that seems even the slightest bit risky. You may totally suppress any talent they could have had by telling them that they're not good enough to try it. They may be maligned with sicknesses all throughout their lives and it will take an emotional and physical strain on both of you trying to keep each other alive and not regretting anything about why things came to be the way they came to be. Kids may be ungrateful, or extremely grateful but too awkward to express it. You may miss what they're trying to say, because you're trying so hard to support the family. Everything gets really exhausting.

In any case, wanting to have children is kind of a self-sabotaging, yet possibly self-fulfilling chapter in one's life. Perhaps, I'm just lonely right now and so I really want someone to really need me. If I can't find a significant other, then a child would be good. I'm so strange to be thinking of such things right now.