I've just had one of the most eventful and interesting birthdays in my entire life. I must say if today was all about the rites of passage to adulthood then I've certainly passed through it well. I've never met so many challenges ever in a day and I am just utterly physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted.
Today was not a bad day. But it was not a good day either. No one died, so that's why it wasn't a bad day, but I spent half of the day in a hospital so it was definitely not good. Well, I guess it wasn't really half day in a hospital, but it certainly felt like it.
My grandmother was in a lot of pain from problems in her back, which caused her to vomit incessantly so I took her to the urgent care center at Riverbend right after I got off work. Then her condition got a lot worse and there were like a million doctors, nurses, and then EMT who came to work on her. When they managed to keep her from losing all oxygen, I had to give a report and such on what happened to her while trying to stay out of the way. It was not fun. I had a momentary flashback to three years ago when my grandfather was patched up to a million machines and the tears just came flooding out of my eyes. I told myself that I needed to be calm about it and I did stay pretty quiet except when the doctors and nurses asked me things, but it was really scary. I swore to God that I would never forgive him if he killed my grandmother on my birthday.
Well, she was still in a lot of pain later, but they transferred her over to the main hospital and I had to drive over to Emergency so I could translate for them. I was a lot more calm once I knew that she was ok, but she was still in pain and then there was the issue with her tumor so I wasn't sure what to think. Everything was just really fast-paced and tense. The doctor gave her some anti-nausea medicine, but because they believed that she took more than one pill for painkillers, they won't give her any more pain medication. I know it's the doctors' jobs not to believe their patients a lot of times, but I told the truth on our parts and they did what they thought was right. *sigh* Oh well.
So... anyway, by the time my mother got to the hospital, my entire body was in a lot of pain from the tension. Every muscle hurt and I was just exhausted. I had worked earlier during the day 'cause I work Thursdays so I was pretty tired already, and then I was tense and rushed for a good three hours straight because of my grandmother's condition. My mother wanted to be the one to take her to urgent care, but because it was really slow Wednesday, she was afraid that people would flood into the restaurant today so she couldn't go. She couldn't find someone else to work either and I had an appointment with my friend and since it was my birthday so she didn't want me to stay at work any longer, but I offered to go take my grandmother to the hospital even if it meant cancelling my date 'cause that took precendence, and so... I ended up going to urgent care and then had all my emotions wracked and fried. It was not a good day for me.
I just wanted my birthday to be a normal day. My plan was to wake up, go to work, and then go to the gym at 3PM, work out, and then go home at 4PM, take a shower, bring some food over to my friend's house and the two of us will have dinner around 5PM, and then come home around 8PM so I can watch Ugly Betty & Grey's Anatomy. This was my game plan, but it just didn't go that way for me. Everything that I just didn't want to happen, just happened.
I mean... the health inspector came to the restaurant yesterday while I was still there and I don't like those people so I kind of hid myself away. And then I had to go to the hospital to take care of my grandmother. After that, even though I thought I could finally relax a bit at my friend's place, my father called me and told me to go pick him and my brother up from work 'cause my mom took the car to go to the hospital. I was just really tired and upset from that 'cause if my brother can drive, I wouldn't have had to take a good hour of my evening just to commute from my friend's house, to the restaurant, and then back to our house. On top of that, I drove my father to the hospital later that evening to bring some food for my mother while he ate in the car.
It was MY birthday and I was working, rushing people to hospitals, chauffeuring people, and just having an awful, emotional rollercoaster of a day, but I stayed calm. I couldn't complain about it, because there's nothing that can be done about why my day was awful. It's not like I can go back and change it. Everything that was out of our power was at work and I didn't even have the energy to get angry with anyone or anything anymore. I'd usually be a lot more bitter towards my brother, I'd be lecturing him on the way home, saying that if only he has a driver's license, then I wouldn't have to cut my birthday short in order to drive all the way out to the other side of town just so I can pick him and my dad up from work. If he had a god damn driver's license, he can just take the two of them home and then I could just relax for an hour longer. But no, that was not to be the case. I was simply and so overly-fatigued that complaining about him not having a license was just such a trivial matter inside my head that I didn't even say anything on the way home. I was just tired and hoped that I wouldn't crash the car.
Now that I can finally say something about my day in this blog, I can really say that it was a pretty awful day. To me, it was a horrible birthday. I didn't even really get to do any of the things I liked. On top of that, my father was pretty insensitive to my feelings and said some things that I usually would have rebutted and tore his head off for, but I just lacked the energy to even care. *sigh*
It was just so exhausting. I kept silent about my feelings in front of my friends, I put on a front to pretend that nothing was wrong, I didn't complain about how it was unfair for me to have to go through something like this today, and I didn't cry in front of my parents because it would make my mother sad. I knew that she felt awful that I had to go to the hospital on my own birthday, so I didn't want that fact to be rubbed into her face. I didn't even tell her why I cried or that I even cried 'cause I didn't want her to feel bad. I did everything I thought I should do, and did not do anything that I shouldn't be doing. When the day was done, and I was finally at home, I couldn't move. Checking my email and returning messages was really tiring, but I wanted people to know that I thank them for the birthday wishes so I returned all of them.
I guess, if I look at it optimistically, it was not a bad day, but it certainly was not a good birthday for me. But hey, at least my grandmother's ok now and resting at home. *sigh* Anyway, it's over now and I'm just glad that things didn't get any worse.
No comments:
Post a Comment