Exactly how ambitious are people really? Do they always rise to the occasion? Why are all these main characters so super smart and cool, and often underdogs that show people up, etc.? And why can't I be like that? Why is work in real life so much harder than they make it seem on TV?
TV sucks is my conclusion. Movies suck is an addition to that conclusion. They make everything seem so much more dramatized, so much more exciting, so much more of what I don't see much in real life. Man, my life is boring. Work sometimes just makes me want to cry, because things aren't going the way I want them to go. You see the story heroes and heroines go through setbacks, but then they rise to the occasion and proves others wrong. They save the day and are awesome. Why can't I get one of those days too?
Why is work so hard? Do people actually feel like this, or is this something they just decide to leave out in the movies and on TV? Why is it that people make life seem so much easier than it really is?
I'm having a mental crisis right now. I'm nearly twenty-five, I haven't done anything worthwhile or important in my life, I don't have my CPA license, I'm not sure if I made the right career choice, I don't have a boyfriend, I'm constantly lonely, one of my best friends is moving back to Germany because this country kind of sucks in many respects, I don't want to give up my current lifestyle and yet I want something to change.
I want to stop making stupid mistakes at work, I want to be able to move on after people kick me and knock me down, I want a better attitude about things, and I just want something to work for once. I'm so tired of living my life. I want to quit and run away, but I hate feeling like I haven't rammed myself against the wall enough times yet. I'm mentally and physically tired, but I don't want to be labeled as a quitter so I keep standing up after I get knocked down every single time. I just want to run and quit though, but then what? What will I do with my life?
Things kind of suck right now, and yet they're really not that bad. I'm just having a teenager moment in my mid-twenties. I really wonder if I'm immature and stupid. I just feel immature and stupid. I want to impress my bosses, and I keep falling down flat on my face. I'm really starting to lose confidence again.
I don't have too good of a support system. I have no real allies, my good friends are all far away from me. I don't have enough money right now to do anything I really want, so I go shopping to make myself feel better and by doing that, I spend more money than I actually have and it's just a very vicious cycle =_= (It really sucks)
I feel like my mind is swimming in terminal angst right now. Life bites.
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