Always Eat Enough

I went to the gym today and worked out like I normally do, but one thing was off.... I didn't eat enough today so when I went to burn the usual amount of calories, I felt really sick after I was done. The acid in my stomach kept traveling up and down, it was not pretty. I immediately took some tums when I went home, which really helped and then sat there eating edamame that I made earlier today lol. I feel a whole lot better. But yeah, just as a note to all, always eat enough before you go to the gym, and make sure you give the food some time to settle too =_= I so hope this doesn't happen again. I need to eat more.

My Brain is a Mess

Life is so complicated, life is much more complicated when "love" is a factor that's quite distracting. When you can't stop thinking about a person and what happened between the two of you no matter how minor, it's annoying. I don't think I've been more annoyed with myself and with what's going on inside my head. I want to talk about it, but I don't want to talk about it. I remember how annoying it is to talk about the guy you may or may not like with your friends and then you become a broken record, which is annoying as hell, but he is the only thing (besides work) that I can think about. The last time I was this annoying... was in college and thankfully that didn't last too long, so the only other time before this was when I was sixteen. Oh god, make it stop! Make the constant rewinding stop! And what timing ... Did he have to text now =_=

You know life is already complicated enough, why do guys make it so much more complex than it should be? And why am I resisting this? Either fall or walk out, why can't I decide? I'm so scared. I don't want to love him. I'll only hurt him in the end. I need to get out, run while I can. Why am I so afraid to be in a mutual relationship? I fear it so much. Living a one-sided unrequited love lifestyle was so much easier. And I could dream about someone else. I feel chained already =_= I can't be committed 'cause I love my freedom so much. That's right, the freedom of being single is awesome. I should stay single. Have I turned into Iris? As soon as I figure out the guy likes me, I lose interest? No, it's not loss of interest, it's fear of being loved back... I can accept it when my friends love me... but when a guy actually loves me, it's scary it. I'm so scared right now. I want to run away, climb in a hole and just hide for a while. Maybe I shouldn't see him for a while. Maybe I should move back home with my parents after all. Then I can't see him for real like this anymore, I'll be able to just live life the way it was. It'll be easy.

Someone stop replaying these strange and bizarre thoughts in my head already!!! Ugh! Maybe I should do yoga. I need to clear my mind.