It's been over a year since I last posted anything and currently, I'm at an impasse with life. It's like a mid-life crisis, but earlier. It's a post-mid-twenties crisis 'cause I surpassed the 25 mark already. Not quite thirty, not really twenty, just floating and hoping for the best.
Since the last time I wrote, I became more independent from my parents. I learned how to solve a lot of things on my own, but when it comes down to relationships with people, I guess I've either regressed or just don't know how to deal with people after all. My roommate and I had a terrible fight, and given this ended up with lots of cyber warring and friends deleting each other from Facebook, etc., it's one of those "we'll never recover from this ever again" kind of situation.
So now... because she is not going to move out despite being the troublemaker, I'm looking for a new place to live. Only catch is... where? As much as I like living where I'm living right now, I'm not sure if I even have a job once my contract expires, so I couldn't afford a one year lease rental agreement... *sigh*
I got a temp position that started at the beginning of this year 'cause I quit my last job around September of last year. I just couldn't deal with the toxic situation anymore so I removed myself from it. The same goes here, I just don't want to live in a place where my peace of mind is not respected so I need to move in order to have some sanity back in my life. Only catch is that I'm still waiting to hear if I have a job after this or not. If only I knew, that would be nice. I'd have a budget that I could work with and plans that I can actually hope to have.
I wish life didn't require so much out of me sometimes. It's so hard to find a good balance these days. I keep having bad dreams recently due to stress. Working 10-12 hours a day, six days a week, and then getting waken up in the middle of the night by your punk-ass roommate just sucks. Well, after the fight, it seems some things have calmed down, but I still don't like going home. I just don't like to look at things I don't like to see. And because I apparently have no people's skills, I just don't feel like developing them around a group that gangs up on me and makes me feel like my feelings aren't important. I mean what kind of person has a whole backup crew waiting for you to come home so they can discuss problems with you? 5 vs. 1?
Well, my friends told me to file a restraining order on these people, but I really would like not to resort to that if at all possible.
I hope this month passes by easily and I'll be out of my current place soon. I need a place that gives me what I need. I just want to feel mentally and emotionally well again. This current situation does me no good. *sigh*
