If I had the money, I'd take everything with me and hide out for a year. I've been constantly fighting with my mother in the last month, and feeling a whole lot of resentment towards both my parents for the type of person I turned into and the path that I must take in life. I feel resentment, because they say I should follow my heart and do what I want, but then turn around and tell me they're disappointed with what I've done to my life. And my bosses tell me I have a victim mentality, so that pisses me off more. I don't like being perceived as someone who always thinks "Poor Me." Even though that's all it seems like lately. Even I hate myself.
I don't feel like I can say anything or talk freely about anything to anyone these days 'cause everyone has an opinion about what I should be doing. I just need space from everything and everyone. I need to get away from everything that reminds me how much I suck.
I'm so tired these days. I don't even want to pick up the phone to talk to anyone. I'm angry everyday. I made my mother cry again tonight and I didn't even feel anything. I was just so angry. I told her that she was a liar when she said that she didn't care what I did anymore. I repeated it over and over again, because I was so angry. Maybe someday I will regret it, but currently, I can't be sympathetic. I can't say anything nice or think of anything nice. I'm ignoring people and not wanting to go out. I'm just angry all the time now. I'm exhausted and I need some sleep.
