Unpleasant Memory

I remembered something unpleasant today, but it gave me pause and allowed me to think a little more clearly.

Two years ago, my friend flew back up from the bay area and wanted to go shopping. She neglected to tell me that she didn't have a car, so after we made plans to go the mall, she said "Oh yeah, can you come pick me up? I don't have a car." It took over 20 minutes to drive to her place during Christmas shopping season with all the lovely traffic, and then another fifteen minutes to get to the mall. We did some shopping, but I had to get to work that day, so then we had to rush back to her place where I dropped her off, drove at least another 25 minutes to get to my house, before driving another 20 minutes to get to work that day and then had to work really late. I was really exhausted and depleted, but I did it because she's my friend.

Then last year when she offered to take me to the airport for one of my trips, she was conveniently unavailable when I needed her to take me so I had to rely on my relatives. And then she offered again for my birthday this year, and I didn't accept at first, but then asked her if she could do it today and she gave me the answer, "Probably" which translates to "No."

So, I think I may need to book a shuttle or something, because this suddenly put my head in perspective and made re-realized that I can't count on anyone really. I'm on my own. At least I remembered in the nick of time.

I Also Want to Move

I'd like to get a job in the city and then live there. I need a change of environment. My roommate and I are on good terms, but I'd like something different.

Job Hunting

I'm discouraged one day and then fired up the next. I have exactly two months to get out of my current job, or else I'm stuck until next April 15th. The only problem is that some jobs require three years of experience and I barely have two in my current occupation. I've only had three months of actual administrative work that can be labeled as admin, and that part really discourages me. In addition to that, hearing my mom's "I really do hope you don't give up on accounting" doesn't help. She doesn't care if I don't continue with public accounting, but she still hopes I continue with what I learned. It certainly makes my life a lot harder to figure out when I keep listening to their feedback. I grew up with people telling me how to live my life and for the most part I always saw their suggestions as correct and now for me to actually question it and try to live my life is so hard. It's pathetic, but true. I can't really come up with a decisive idea of what I really want and I change my mind everyday. It's been really annoying. I hate my current job, but I'm not sure of what I actually want either. I have five days till the drop dead and then I need to really get out of my job before December, which means I have to at least land an interview this month, get a position in November and turn in my two weeks notice. I'm so stressed right now.

I really want to stay here, but a part of me is telling me it would be more practical to go back home where the cost of living is really small and one can just survive on $35k a year. Here... $35k is like living paycheck to paycheck. I'm just so lost and I have a feeling that I will stay in this state for a while.

Opera Tickets

My friend just bought me tickets to see the opera next month as a birthday present to me *__* I'm kind of melting right now. I've always wanted someone to treat me to the opera for my birthday. Now I've got one wish fulfilled~